A reflection 100 days now passed and introducing a new project

[Currently sipping Lapsang Souchong tea from Bird Pick Tea & Herb in El Monte, CA]

I laughed to myself last night when I read the prior post that said I’d be writing more, which was technically true, but it implied I’d be writing here more and well, it’s been almost 3 months since that entry. However, good news everyone: I have been writing more and though the receptacles have not been my own website, my thoughts have been contained somewhere. The dream journal continues getting daily reports. The never-sent email draft still receives meandering nighttime thoughts I’ve yet to catalog. The corporate musings have ceased on LinkedIn but the primary reason for that is that I’ve shed that life for now.

Here I am today, untethered by the W-2 hullabaloo.

Here I am today, exploring what it means to be uncertainly certain.

Here I am today, just passing 100 days since my generous notice of departure.

Since then, much processing has had to happen and it’s not a journey ended quite yet. I am still taking care to trod carefully as each day provides a new insight or layers on additional resolve and validation. You see, it was both a hard and easy decision to make to take a different path. Hard due to conditioning and the sense of self that’s been cultivated over time within me through cultural and social influences. Easy due to my will to test myself, control my time, and pursue the joys of learning new things all the time.

But how exciting it’s been, these past months. Giving myself permission to listen to what my body needs and reorienting my activities to a personally optimal sleeping-waking schedule (fall asleep between midnight-1am, wake up between 8-9am) instead of caving in to other people’s schedules has gifted me better cognitive and physical functions back. Setting personally meaningful daily goals and tasks has granted more whole feelings of accomplishment when my head hits the pillow. Forging ahead with carefully chosen work to heal animals and practice channeling loving intent has left me exhausted but brimming with a purpose that I never felt once in my progression through prior jobs.

So, I’m continuing to learn about new worlds, and I’m continuing to find that there really are some relationships I can no longer stomach with friends acquaintances who could/would only connect based on my positional status in the industry I’ve left. There’s a flash of grief each time I realize I must let go of another one; that mourning is part of the process too. But I am not my job. You are not your job. You can be glad for me and curious about the next journey without being hurt for yourself that your tech network has “lost” a member. My closure is in considering that the reactions are out of fear of the unknown and the introspection it stimulates of whether or not they could also give themselves permission to do what they want.

As is the modus operandi for me, I’m also continuing to dream up personal projects and take action on those that worm their ways into the crevices of my brain and set up cozy camps. One of these is The sapid 100 which is now underway. Some background: 100 days after putting in notice to leave my corporate job after a break-less decade in tech, I started this project to both give my creative writing progress a kick in the rear and mail something interesting to folks in my community. Serendipitously, there are just a little over 100 days left in 2023 to complete the project before the next calendar year.

Now I’m staring at the fated stack of postcards on my desk, eager to fill them with words, words, words and send them out into the world to see how they are received, excited to meet the future ideas they’ll spark.