The words I speak

[Currently sipping Phoenix Honey Orchid Oolong tea from Bird Pick Tea & Herb in El Monte, CA]

I think often about how I use words: in writing for personal vs. professional use, texting or messaging close friends vs. acquaintances, contextually helping me understand new words while reading, and speaking.

I get particularly self-conscious about speaking.

Not prepared public speaking though. Surprisingly I do well with this, possibly because I’ve had the opportunity to plan what to say or have the expertise to comfortably say it. I mean speaking generally. There are some words that I only know by sight and have never needed to say aloud; there are also some words that most people only know in writing and rarely hear used in regular conversation but that I use frequently. Call it a side effect of reading so much and staying away from long bouts of casual social interactions that require me to talk at length.

I ruminate about my diction for a number of reasons.

ONE: Words that I’ve never said aloud nor have heard spoken will likely be mispronounced.

This applies even to those that are common but not used in my own circle. In my mid-20s, I embarrassingly mispronounced “vinyl” when with a friend who was close enough to call me out on this, after laughing kindly for a long while. How could I never have used the word before? I’m not sure, but I definitely remembered how to after that moment.

Last year, I deliberately sought out and learned how to say “coiffed,” and I confess I only looked it up to talk about how beautiful one of my dogs’ fur naturally is (he’s seriously a heartbreaker). It’s regularly used in books to describe upscaled hair styling, and I definitely would’ve pronounced it incorrectly without some instruction.

TWO: Words that are usually not said aloud but are said by me could be misconstrued as being used haughtily.

As a reader of many genres and subjects, I am frequently exposed to commonly-unspoken words and have absorbed many into my everyday language. Which means I’ll use them casually. It becomes quickly apparent, however, when I have used something out of the ordinary because there is a shift in body language or eye contact from the person/people involved. I’ll worry if it’s not welcomed or misunderstood. I’ll wonder, “Is it okay that I just used ‘onus’ then? Was ‘inexplicable’ strange to say to her? Does that phrase only apply for a particular line of study? Oh no, am I actually being haughty by thinking that the person didn’t understand the word I used?"”

THREE: Words that are written a certain way will be pronounced by me a certain way that most folks speedily mash together in speech.

My husband points these out to me all the time but thankfully finds my usage endearing. I will enunciate the n in “environment” instead of skipping past it. If you listen closely enough, you’ll hear the second e whenever I say “vegetable.” I’ll also tend towards the Latin pronunciation of words that have Latin roots such as “data.” I’m sure there are many other examples but I’ll try not to identify them all lest I become too aware each time I use them and spiral into silence.

So, why am I writing about speaking?

As I’ve been delving into writing advice and taking the time to deliberately consider the recommended practices, one suggestion that many have given is to read your writing aloud during the editing process. That turned me down a path of thinking about my struggles with which words to use when speaking, and these thoughts just needed to be written. So here. Thanks, brain.

P.S. I have read this whole post aloud, and yes, I would speak this way in person.